The Federal Republic of Coldian is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by The Admiral with a fair hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, unlimited-speed roads, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 6.784 billion Coldians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Collin City. The average income tax rate is 93.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Coldianese economy, worth a remarkable 1,874 trillion Collans a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an amazing 276,305 Collans, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Physics lessons mostly involve talking about emotional management techniques, blackface performers claim they are being deliberately ironic, therapists can always squeeze in another house-call, and newly synthesized elements' half-lives are a million times shorter than the time it takes to say their names. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Coldian's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Coldian is ranked 6,773^rd in the world and 5^th in 001 Alpha Prime for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 16,077.98 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.