The Federal Republic of Coldistania is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Sir Tadhg Sickles with an even hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 1.536 billion Coldists have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Coalville. The average income tax rate is 58.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Coldistanian economy, worth 110 trillion Coldas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 72,160 Coldas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

The government sends submarines to retrieve bodies from shipwrecked submarines, the thin blue line is composed of picketing police officers demanding better pensions, the police have reaffirmed their tough stance on drugs, and the best doughnut stores have been taken over by foreign police officers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Coldistania's national animal is the Spectral Bat, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Coldistania is ranked 42,165^th in the world and 905^th in The East Pacific for Most Beautiful Environments, with 730.88 pounds of wildlife per square mile.