The Definitely Not NES of Griffin Somerset is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Viktoria Gryfynn with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, compulsory military service, and lack of airports. The quiet, industrious population of 14.377 billion Alcoholics have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Environment, Welfare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of didyabringabeeralong. The average income tax rate is 89.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Griffin Somersetian economy, worth 539 trillion Bottle Caps a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Gambling and Cheese Exports. Average income is 37,543 Bottle Caps, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Recruitment posters proclaim the army to be both fabulous and fashionable, anti-vaxxers claim that injected children are prone to psychotic breaks when they see the 'Queen of Diamonds' playing card, organ donation is compulsory, and government officials across Griffin Somerset are being "encouraged" to adopt Drunkards to set an example for the populace. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Griffin Somerset's national animal is the Drunkard, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Griffin Somerset is ranked 9,831^st in the world and 583^rd in Balder for Most Beautiful Environments, with 1,606.57 pounds of wildlife per square mile.