The Republic of Johnstonopheles is a small, safe nation, renowned for its compulsory military service, national health service, and aversion to nipples. The compassionate, hard-working population of 32 million Johnstonophelesians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 14.5%.

The Johnstonophelesian economy, worth 1.80 trillion Doo doos a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 56,192 Doo doos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.1 times as much as the poorest.

Every politician claims to be at least 1% Native Johnstonophelesian, kids looking for shark teeth have become ancient history, the latest national park is visited by more sharks than people, and group hugs break out during floor votes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Johnstonopheles's national animal is the Cheesebadger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Johnstonopheles is ranked 78,686^th in the world and 98^th in Nordic Lands for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 2,853.63 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.