The I'm not CTEd I promise of Klysevia is a colossal, socially progressive nation, renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 5.949 billion Klysevians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The tiny, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government is primarily concerned with Industry, although Administration, Education, and Public Transport are also considered important, while International Aid and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kilavi. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Klysevian economy, worth 543 trillion pounds a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Soda Sales, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 91,278 pounds, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 822,225 per year while the poor average 1,251, a ratio of 656 to 1.

There's no such thing as bad publicity, park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets, a video of Leader wearing shock-blue face paint and smashing an electric guitar in front of a frenzied crowd is on endless repeat on the nightly news, and there have been reports of people marrying housepets. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Klysevia's national animal is the owl, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Klysevia is ranked 283,285^th in the world and 5,225^th in the South Pacific for Safest, scoring 4.2 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.