The Holy Troutarky of North-Waffia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Interpres Domitianus with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory vegetarianism, anti-smoking policies, and fear of technology. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 12.639 billion North-Waffians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Spirituality, although Environment and Law & Order are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wallia. The average income tax rate is 17.1%.

The North-Waffian economy, worth 509 trillion trout a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 40,307 trout, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.8 times as much as the poorest.

The well-off amuse themselves by organizing upstairs-downstairs stories within their second homes, burial ceremonies have become as routinised as tax forms, families must live in a village for a century before they get any say in how it runs, and playground injuries are considered academic progress. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, thanks to a capable police force. North-Waffia's national animal is the whale, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Ballænam.

North-Waffia is ranked 286,201^st in the world and 14^th in Banaanvraag for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -13.33 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.