The Theocracy of Optimasia is a large, safe nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, disturbing lack of elderly people, and frequent executions. The cynical population of 67 million Optimasians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 56.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Optimasian economy, worth 3.33 trillion Bongs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Furniture Restoration, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 49,688 Bongs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A typical fast food menu item could serve a small army, behind every local dictator is an Optimasian advisor whispering in their ear, people seem disproportionately distraught when told a museum has a phones-off policy, and conscientious objectors are hanged as traitors. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Optimasia's national animal is the Oyster, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Optimasia is ranked 68,436^th in the world and 1,491^st in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 70.42 law-abiding acts per hour.