The Holy Eco-Syndicalist Union of Safiloa is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by The Gohulian Council with an even hand, and notable for its fear of technology, daily referendums, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 6.466 billion Safiloans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ponaiga. The average income tax rate is 99.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Safiloan economy, worth a remarkable 1,024 trillion Candy Cane Lulu ȴs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 158,409 Candy Cane Lulu ȴs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Sex changes are routinely performed at Safiloa's hospitals, citizens are allowed to rise or fall based on their own merits, therapists can always squeeze in another house-call, and many friends and relatives of The Gohulian Council have been given ambassador jobs in tropical island nations. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Safiloa's national animal is the Nugu Gondwanatherian, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Mazdakism.

Safiloa is ranked 286,251^st in the world and 218^th in Democratic Socialist Assembly for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring -250.27 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.