The Empire of Tarendoor is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Dylan Matthews with an iron fist, and remarkable for its digital currency, public floggings, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, cynical population of 16.386 billion Tarendoorians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Barendwell. The average income tax rate is 98.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Tarendoorian economy, worth a remarkable 2,486 trillion Denariis a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 151,743 Denariis, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Telling someone to 'break a leg' is considered a criminal inducement to self harm, guide dogs for the blind have been seen using government websites, news headlines suggest that Dylan Matthews has a sideline in guinea pig pimping, and soldiers who shoot themselves in the foot are regarded as heroes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tarendoor's national animal is the Hydra, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Tarendoor is ranked 283,962^nd in the world and 10,640^th in Osiris for Most Primitive, scoring -404.86 on the Scary Big Number Scale.