The Kingdom of The Astovia is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by King Orsós Krisztofer III with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, free-roaming dinosaurs, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 1.304 billion Astovians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The medium-sized, pro-business government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Healthcare, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Karkova. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 19.1%.

The very strong Astovian economy, worth 81.9 trillion Imperial Marks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 62,812 Imperial Marks, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 252,382 per year while the poor average 10,468, a ratio of 24.1 to 1.

West Arlistani has been named as The Astovia's national religion, viewers get headaches from trying to read the screen full of small print warnings that precede most TV shows, legal contracts aren't worth the paper they're written on, and heterosexuality is considered positive proof of fitness to parent. Crime is moderate. The Astovia's national animal is the Gevonian Bear, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is West Arlistani.

The Astovia is ranked 188,273^rd in the world and 133^rd in Valley of Peace for Safest, scoring 49.83 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.