The Free Islands of The Coarsal Pirates is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by High Captain Balman with a fair hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, rampant corporate plagiarism, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 7.375 billion Pirates live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Industry also on the agenda, while Law & Order and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Blacklake Isle. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Coarsal economy, worth a remarkable 2,638 trillion gold marks a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 357,752 gold marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.4 times as much as the poorest.

Refugees from other nations are flocking to The Coarsal Pirates's border, 'A is for Annulment' is a popular children's song, business meetings across the country are interrupted by the sound of squeaking whoopee-cushions, and military minds worry that 'the blue screen of death' on brand new operating systems may be a literal description. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. The Coarsal Pirates's national animal is the kraken, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Alcoholism.

The Coarsal Pirates is ranked 286,140^th in the world and 10,715^th in Osiris for Safest, scoring 1.45 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.