The Malo Sa'oloto Tuto'atasi of Tongatapu is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Fa'a Samoa with an iron fist, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, prohibition of alcohol, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 43.668 billion Tongatapuans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Apia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 54.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Tongatapuan economy, worth a remarkable 7,188 trillion tala a year, is led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 164,619 tala, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 496,083 per year while the poor average 42,588, a ratio of 11.6 to 1.

Tongatapuans are free from pain - but the side effects include loss of individual thought and freedom, several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation, priceless Maxtopian artwork can often be found in executive bathrooms, and heart attack victims are thrown onto the rails. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tongatapu's national animal is the porpoise, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Bell of the compressed gas cylinder.

Tongatapu is ranked 145,275^th in the world and 21^st in United Nations for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 1,309.88 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.