The Very Volatile Vampire of Valtarre is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by The Vampire King with an iron fist, and remarkable for its strictly enforced bedtime, ban on automobiles, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 19.236 billion victims are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized morass — prioritizes Defense, with Spirituality, Industry, and Environment also on the agenda, while International Aid receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Hideout. The average income tax rate is 70.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped malicious economy, worth 374 trillion blood drops a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Cheese Exports, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 19,464 blood drops, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak, recent events in Dàguó have been classified 'for The Vampire King's eyes only', all artwork is carefully screened for offensive material, and they who do not work shall not eat. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force. Valtarre's national animal is the target, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Valtarre is ranked 42,892^nd in the world and 39^th in The Brotherhood of Malice for Most Beautiful Environments, with 726.22 pounds of wildlife per square mile.