The Screwed States of Maltdonia is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Screwed Council of Maltdonia with an even hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, soft-spoken computers, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 1.177 billion Maltdonians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Maltodextrin. The average income tax rate is 16.8%.

The very strong Maltdonian economy, worth 100 trillion Malts a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Cheese Exports, Basket Weaving, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 85,058 Malts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.8 times as much as the poorest.

Community-designed sword prostheses are becoming dangerously common, the banhammer is a standard police sidearm, ambulances aren't allowed to overtake hearses, and Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Maltdonia's national animal is the water bear, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities, and its national religion is Orthodox Maltism.

Maltdonia is ranked 40,077^th in the world and 2,590^th in Balder for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 177.38 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.