The Peoples Socialist Union of New Xartoia is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Ekana Kapa Spayo with an iron fist, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, punitive income tax rates, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 4.194 billion Xartoians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Industry also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tianmen. The average income tax rate is 58.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient New Xartoian economy, worth 554 trillion Monis a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 132,215 Monis, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Soldiers are issued comics about superheroes punching unflattering caricatures of their enemies, international trade can be a pain to deal with, Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping, and the nation's diplomats shake hands with those whose hands are drenched in the blood of innocents. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Xartoia's national animal is the Xarto Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Yelçaism.

New Xartoia is ranked 31,094^th in the world and 538^th in the South Pacific for Most Corrupt Governments, with 69.76 kickbacks per hour.