Northern Utopia

Public RP

Gertbland Gazette #60 | Double Trouble

Passengers on a Tri-Island Airways flight to Snjótturburg were met with a surprise yesterday after seeing Lewis Maret, a fellow passenger, and his large pet crate being escorted out of the flight by Tri-Islands crew. Maret was instructed by flight attendants that the animal in the pet crate, a double-headed Shiloh Crownsnake named Greg, was actually two animals that could not be stored on the plane as passengers are only allowed to have one pet on board. Hours after Maret left the airport, it came to the attention of the Gazette that he intended to sue Tri-Island Airways for falsely kicking him off the flight that he purchased tickets for. On various social media platforms, Maret has voiced his argument that the snake, although two-headed, is one single animal. Tri-Island Airways reacted to this development by supporting the decisions of its flight crew in “identifying the animals in question as two separate entities.” The Gazette requested Maret to comment on his plans for this growing legal battle:

“This is one animal, no doubt about it. Yeah it’s got two heads but so what? They call a Hydra a Hydra, not a ‘Hydras.’ I’m honestly appalled that this is an issue. The thing can’t hurt anyone anyway! I was a paying customer who was only going to take this great CREATURE—singular—to a great buyer. I’m going to take this all the way to the top, and I have the funds for it, too. I just sold a purple kingsnake not a month ago, so this is serious.”

Worried Moms and Dads has announced their concern over the fact that the double-headed snake may be considered two entities. Spokespeople from the parental rights and child safety organization explain that if these double-headed snakes were considered two animals, the population of harmful snakes could be artificially inflated and pose a greater safety risk to children playing outside.

In other news, sports fishermen have identified the Skull Eye Schooner while off the coast of New Gertbland City. The fishermen say they reported the sighting to Admiral Broadsides new task force dedicated to tracking down the pirate sail ship.

Tarbanovija, North of Anisakvija

Family Chief Tatanka Wikasa walks in the dense strip of trees that cuts through enormous farmlands. Even though it's day, it's dark and cloudy, with few drops of water penetrating through the shield of leaves, hitting Tatanka Wikasa and his men's shoulders. 10 meters behind him is the Group elder Hinata Wikasa, Tatanka's little brother and the secondary leader of the war family, that means quite the same as a squad in any other army in the world. They have been on walk for several hours already, Everyone apart from the leaders and radioman carrying large rucksacks with enough supplies for them to survive on their own for few days. They are on an important mission. VOSTOK special operation forces have been causing havoc for the army and civilians for over a week already, which has caused the Chief of War to react harshly. Numerous counter-partisan squads like Tatanka Wikasa's was formed from experienced Tawechine warrior group.

Tatanka and his whole group wore a red & white, fancy, checkered Mih'kwéh that resembled their home clan that originates all the way from the mountanous Northeastern parts of North Tawechine. They were raised as warriors from the moment they were born. They went through rigorous training that still goes on today. They have hunted down Tanka Bears as a form of exercise, made several pilgrimages through the mountains in seek of legendary Ithaqua, participated in countless clan wars, and now fighting the Sacred war against the common enemy of Creeyoans. There isn't much that triggers any sort of fear Response in these men. They know every way how to take a life of another man either fast and peacefully, or as slowly and miserably as possible. That's why they and thousands of other Tawechines were chosen to this task. They know how to be ruthless enough for these foreign raiders who kill innocent children and steal their food. The Wikasas were told that the Vostok forces have committed the worst crime infront of Wakan Tanka: eating babies. That's what they were told at least. And that's why they are eager to kill these invaders.

The Men followed Tatanka as the wind got stronger by every minute. The blades of wet grass bent and clung to their boots, leaving behind a trail of crushed greenery and muddy imprints. Every first step seemed to wash the boots from dirt, but the very next step caused them to soak in mud. Then, a sudden crack pierced the air, followed by another and another, until the sounds merged into an orchestra of almost constant gunfire in the distance. Some group has come in contact with Vostok. Everyone stopped their movement and went to their knees, each observing their own designated view of vision. Hinata Wikasa swiflty turned his head to the family elder.

"Gunshots 400 meters to east!"

Hinata loudly whispered to Tatanka, who glanced at him and gave a quick, silent nod. Tatanka thought of possible decision and outcomes for few seconds before turning to his Men.

"Get in a distance wedge! We transform into a line formation if we see structures or I show the sign."

He stated loudly, so that the last man 60 meters away could hear it clearly. He then started walking in front, allowing everyone to find their way in the formation. They came across a small dirt road after walking few hundred meters towards the gunfight. Tatanka gave an order for everyone to take off their rucksacks and other equipment that isnt necessary in combat. Then they began running towards the small Ridge, which most likely was the only barrier between them and the battle. Tatanka halted his Men right before the Ridge and decided to crawl himself on top of the Ridge to see where the enemy and friendlies are. There was enough tree coverage for the whole warrior family to be safe, but Tatanka wanted to make sure there Will be no blue-on-blue situation. He crawled behind a tree and observed the vast terrain. There was a small community of 3 houses on the left, a small field on the center and a strip of trees on the right. He could clearly see few enemy soldiers stationed in the tree strip and seemingly trying to take over the small community which was defended by 4-5 local Creeyoans, all in civilians clothes and armed with simple rifles and pistols.

"Hinata, get yourself a companion and defend the right flank! Everyone else, in a single file line over here! Enemy at the right forest strip, fire at will!"

Tatanka shouts, and the warrior family instantly goes into action. Tatanka opens fire as soon as everyone got in their position, followed by the rest of the Tawech warriors. One Vostok operator instantly drops lifeless on ground while the rest of them seek for cover. The fire supperiority is quickly gained and thoroughly maintained by the Tawechines. Tatanka then orders his flank protectors to push forward in the forest strip and force the enemy out. However, it becomes clear that the enemy is heavily armed as they open fire with PKMs, forcing everyone in Tatanka's squad to return back behind the Ridge. Tatanka turns to his nearest companion, Elder warrior Ginawa Tanka, armed with an assault rifle with grenade launcher attachment.

"Gas?"

Tatanka asks a simple question from Ginawa, who quickly observes his built-in backpack module in his vest.

"Gas!"

Ginawa answers back, taking a small grenade round with Black stripe around it and loads it in the launcher. He aims upwards towards the enemy positions, and fires. A quickly expanding yellow-Brown smoke emerged from the forest strip, followed by panicking enemy soldiers who try to get away from the smoke while already feeling the effects of it. Tatanka and his Men shot down them one at the time, until there was no more of them. After waiting for half a minutes, Tatanka ordered his Men to Rush towards the settlement, shouting the motto of Askelewi constantly in order to show to locals they're on their side. Tatanka met 4 adult Men with their rifles. They were defending their family, rest of which soon emerged from the forest. There was a dead body in the premises of the settlement that gained the interest of Tatanka. The man had a different dark Green uniform, a seemingly Rouvskian weapon and white armband. It was a VOSTOK operative who most likely tried to break in one of the house but got surprised by the armed family. Rest of the dead man's comrades were lying dead in the field, their faces severely burnt and filled in blisters. The gas was still around spreading here and there, so the Tawechines had to evacuate the settlement for a brief period for their own safety. After all the bodies had been counter following morning, the squad continued its patrol across the plains, looking for unfortunate Rouvskian operatives who would land in front of them.

TIPISKAWIN INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

Liqner sat on his comfy seat in his private jet, patiently waiting to make it to his destination. In front of him was a small coffee table and a sofa occupied by Telzin, who agreed to join him as an advisor for the trip. Liqner’s son seemed to be slightly absent from this world, having the same, serious stare on his glass on the table. It wasn’t until Liqner’s hands came to his vision when Telzin broke the eternal staring competition with a lifeless object. Telzin glanced at his father, but said nothing. Liqner knew that Telzin was not supportive of Shanting’s involvement in this conflict. Everything would have been better if Shanting kept to its own business, he thought. Liqner took a sip from his glass and put it back on the table. The eerie silence that was looming in the cabin made him feel uneasy. Knowing that his own son did not like his plans was saddening. Liqner however knew that in order to succeed, he needed to gain a foothold. A foothold in the continent Liqner’s grand-grandfathers found all the riches at. The latest findings of natural gas in the region made it clear that Bjuzkas can not back down in Askelewi. If they did, someone else would take their place, regardless of what Askets themselves think of it.

Liqner looked outside the oval window. The large patches of forests and farmlands switched to small groups of settlements. These settlements grew larger and larger as the plane flew forward and descended, eventually uniting into one, large metropolis. Tipiskawin was the only real, modern city Askelewi had. It was the beating heart of the country. This city was home to the ministers, the oligarchs, the workers, the very ordinary Creeyoans who wanted to live in a modern society. The plane flew past the city center, which was covered in tall skyscrapers and modern apartments. You could see the brand new Tipiskawin’s Central Shopping Center taking several neighborhoods worth of space to itself. If a picture of This exact moment was captured, anyone would think we could be somewhere like New Anston, or a bustling, medium-sized city in Shanting. It’s all thanks to Pleike LLC. Liqner, being one of the owners of the megacorporation, gets a sense of pride as he looks at the results made in just a few years. The modernization of Tipiskawin is just one of the first steps in Pleike LLC’s attempt to modernize the country. There’s a lot more to do, and it will certainly take decades of hard work that requires blood and sweat before all of Askets in the country could have similar life as those in Tipiskawin.

The flight attendant entered the cabin with a small trolley. She had a small variety of expensive goods, such as caviar, Quinerian whiskey, Trinian cigars and a variety of wines from all across Shanting and the world. Finally, someone who breaks the silence!

—---------------------

“Sirs? Would you like some drinks? Tobacco?”

Liqner: “I’d like one cigar, please. Telzin, do you want some too?”

Telzin: “I’m okay with what I have.”

—---------------------

Telzin shook his head and leaned on his left hand as he looked out from the window to the new world they had arrived in. The flight attendant took a maroon box from the trolley. The box looked like a simple gift box which could be opened just by lifting the head off. It was decorated with dozens of golden stars in perfect symmetry, expressing the straightforward, harmonical taste of the cigar accompanied with slight tropical and citrus tones. In the middle there was a golden square, which had maroon text written in: “Devna Premium - 1944 Limited Edition”. One box of these would cost 7 grand at home, but that money felt nothing for Bjuzkas. For them in general, everything was technically free with the enormous wealth they had. Liqner cuts the cap off and lets the flight attendant light the cigar for him. The attendant took Liqner’s empty whisky glass and left the cabin.

Telzin “You know… I personally thought Askeland was far from being a modern society.”

—---------------------

Telzin said with a surprised tone, as he looked at the numerous highrises of Tipiskawin. His father chuckled as a response, knowing the larger scale of how things actually are.

—---------------------

Liqner: “Well, the only advanced part in this country is right in front of you. There’s a lot that needs to be done before Askeland could be called ‘modern’ in any way.”

Telzin: “Aren’t they poor? Like in general, they rely pretty much fully on us in every aspect.”

Liqner: “They’re quite new to running a country. Their society has been rumbling due to internal and external threats.”

Telzin: “Tell me more about the internal threats.”

Liqner: “The term “Creeyoan” or “Asket” is very broad. They both hold dozens of smaller and bigger tribes within them. You got the Askets themselves and Tahapatsas, who are the most dominant in this country and rule pretty much everything. You then got the Tawechines, an important minority tribe that lives up north. They’re known as the troublemakers of the society, and the only thing at the moment that keeps them from starting a civil war is the united Creeyoan goal of fighting against the foreign oppressors.”

Telzin: “Don’t they see us as oppressors? I mean, look at this place. The whole city was built by us. We own almost all of their businesses and industries.”

Liqner: “We’re only here to support them. As soon as we get the natural gas business rolling, we can lease some of our industrial and business aspects to improve their self-reliance. That’s why they see us as allies, not invaders.”

Telzin: “Hopefully you keep your word and don’t turn this place into a mere colony of Shanting, just like in the imperial times. People in Wasari tend to revolt quite a lot if they see themselves being oppressed by foreigners.”
—---------------------

Liqner sat there, watching as the plane lowered its altitude, eventually bumping to the runway. You could see the grand old brutalist terminal and a large military base with its hangars and barracks further away. Telzin looked displeased at the main terminal and its boring, cold look.

—---------------------

Telzin: “Seems like the ‘developed’ part of this society can’t even reach the outskirts of the city.”

—---------------------

Telzin thought out loud. Liqner put his cigar on a small tray and started getting ready to step out. The plane was taxied to the gate in front of the terminal. The doors opened, and the flight attendant signaled with his hand for the duo to step out. Telzin stood up and tidied his black suit before leading the way out of the plane. Telzin walked his way down the stairs to a red carpet with a line of Asket soldiers standing at attention. They formed a man-made hallway leading all the way to the end of the red carpet where the Grand Chief was welcoming the two of the most important figures in Shanting. Few dozen meters away was a large mass of reporters and paparazzis taking pictures, eager to get closer to the red carpet but were held off by armed men in purple uniforms.

Wîpîyamâhtâw, the Grand Chief of Askeland welcomed Liqner and his son in open arms. He was wearing his usual white cloak and mih'kwéh. On this rare occasion, his face was not covered by the traditional scarf, and the mih’kwéh found itself just covering the Grand Chief’s neck. Liqner and Wîpîyamâhtâw shook hands and hugged, whereas Telzin was given a firm handshake by the grand chief and a pat in the back.

—---------------------

Wîpîyamâhtâw: “Welcome to Askelewi! I sincerely hope that your flight was pleasant in every way.”

Liqner: “It's a pleasure to be here and meet you face-to-face for the first time.”

Wîpîyamâhtâw: “Thank you. However, let’s keep the discussion here short, and get going. As you know, our security situation isn’t exactly the best right now.”

Liqner: “We understand. Let’s get going, then.”

—---------------------

They walked inside the airport, where they were met by dozens of Pleike LLC’s security providers. They could be easily identified from the purple uniform they wore. There was little to no law enforcement around, which puzzled Telzin.

—---------------------

Telzin: “How are the police doing in this country?”

Wîpîyamâhtâw: “Not great, to be honest. Our police force is very small, and therefore we have to rely on extra help given by your security providers. They are far more professional and… well… They are professional unlike our men. But we wish to turn this problem around when we get more funds that open up after the war.”

Liqner: “We can discuss these matters soon in the meeting.”

—---------------------

Liqner, Wîpîyamâhtâw and Telzin were led in a black limousine that was waiting for them outside the terminal. A large convoy of military trucks, armored cars and motorbikes started heading towards the Tipiskawin center. Liqner and Telzin looked outside their windows and saw the streets of Tipiskawin outskirts. The suburbs were filled with different-sized concrete boxes that were supposed to represent homes for many Creeyoans. These extremely simple, straightforward and depressing buildings dated all the way back to Kkhano expansion, when functionality beat over beauty. It’s a shocker these buildings are still somewhat liveable, although many buildings have unrepairable cracks as a result of the past conflicts and years of disrepair. Many of the wooden houses were in such bad shape someone could think they’re straight from an Imperial era museum. The main road was in excellent shape. The pedestrian pathways that led towards the city center were clean and the concrete slabs had no signs of wear down. This cleanliness and newer look eventually catches up to the buildings as the convoy starts making it to the city itself.

Although they were almost at the city center, the traffic was comparable to a tiny village center. People preferred walking and very few individuals owned cars.

—---------------------

Liqner: ”The city feels quite dead when the roads are empty.”

Wîpîyamâhtâw: “People would gladly use cars. However, there’s no car manufacturers in the country nor are there many dealerships. The cars are only for the rich folk here. People have to resort to walking, bicycles and horses. Unfortunately our bus routes are nationally pretty bad, let alone other aspects of public transport.”

Liqner: “There’s certainly a lot to do. But I trust a strong man like you can overcome these obstacles.”

Wîpîyamâhtâw: “I appreciate your kind words. Anyway, we’re at the destination, we shall get ready.”

—---------------------

The Grand chief said as the convoy departed and the limousine curved in front of the Chieftain’s Palace. The white neo-classical building was surrounded by a stone wall. To make the security even more present, there were hundreds of Tahapatsa soldiers guarding every side of the building both inside and outside. The main gate guardians opened the cantilever gate for Wîpîyamâhtâw and his visitors. The front yard had a blooming garden with hedge mazes, flowers and marble fountains. The cartoonishly green, clean-cut grass made it feel like home for Telzin and Liqner. The sheer difference between the outside and inside the gate was dizzying. For the first time, Telzin felt relieved as he finally got out of the depressing nature of the city itself. The city center was a few clicks to the north, but it was extremely quiet, mostly due to the absence of cars.

They passed the gardens and walked upstairs the grand staircase that led to the main entrance. Wîpîyamâhtâw’s bodyguards opened the large double doors for them. Inside, the foundation looked grand: the floor was made of white Trinian marble and the rosewood walls gave the entrance hall an elegant, expensive first-look. However, Wîpîyamâhtâw’s simple lifestyle could be seen in the furniture. There were only a couple seats here and there and few pictures of his late family. He didn’t put as much effort in covering the rooms with expensive paintings, marble statues of himself, or having a large collection of historical furniture. The lack of furniture made everything look so empty, but perhaps in a good way. Liqner has been to many homes of his partners, and many of them are so filled with anything that breathes wealth, that he has felt even claustrophobic in these places. It’s refreshing to finally have space to walk around and perhaps even take a couple running steps without fear of crashing a thousand-year-old relic to the ground, Liqner thought to himself.

Wîpîyamâhtâw led Liqner and Telzin in his personal office. The bookshelves behind his counter were filled with books ranging from guides for economics to history books of Askelewi. Wîpîyamâhtâw signaled his guests to take a seat from a comfortable couch on the corner and sat on the other couch, facing Liqner and Telzin. Between the two couches was a small table with 3 empty glasses and a bottle of whisky. Liqner, the professional whisky taster, had never seen such a brand of whiskey in his life.

—---------------------

Wîpîyamâhtâw: “I knew that you both like whisky, so I had to present you with something new: Would you like to have a taste of ‘Kanahooka 2019’? It’s our country’s first homemade, premium whisky. it’s a harmonious blend of natural flavors and traditional Tahapatsa-craftsmanship.”

—---------------------

Liqner was pleasantly surprised and agreed to take a taste with Telzin. They both could find themselves in a journey through the rich earthiness taste, floral undertones, refreshness of the herbs, ending with a smooth & balanced aftertaste.

—---------------------

Liqner: “For such a young whisky, this is surprisingly good. This could become one of the trademarks for sure.”

Wîpîyamâhtâw: “I’m glad you liked it.”

Liqner: “Without further ado, let’s get to the point. How is your operation going in the south?”

Wîpîyamâhtâw: “Very great. Without international allies, we couldn’t have achieved as much as we have now. Anterian and our own forces captured an important city of Lanáwsi after very harsh battles. The War Chief said however, that despite our losses, we achieved a great win. On the western front, our forces backed by Anterians are steadily moving towards Kahelis. If things go as planned, we will occupy Chilantakoba in just couple weeks.”

Liqner: “That is relieving to hear. We have enforced our own men by bringing new Pre-Intervention battalions in. If things start turning down south, we can send them to help any time.”

Telzin: “There’s a possibility that INCOM will respond, especially after the rumours of… you know what, have started to spread.”

Liqner: “Speaking of that, Mr. Grand Chief, are the rumours true? Were chemical weapons used against Novoroyskans?”

—---------------------

Wîpîyamâhtâw was visibly nervous of the bombardment of such questions.

—---------------------

Wîpîyamâhtâw: “Not to my knowledge. There are no bodies found. No evidence of such atrocities. Even if these claims were to be true, we would be sure to condemn such barbaric actions. I refuse to believe our professional army would resort to such horrid acts.”

Liqner: “I see. I’m sorry if I overwhelmed you in any way. We should move on to the next topic.”

Wîpîyamâhtâw: “Of course. The law enforcement is overwhelmed and out of its capacity. This, topped with rampant corruption among our units, is very worrying.”

Telzin: “I assume no anti-corruption agencies exist to take care of the corruption problem.”

Wîpîyamâhtâw: “Unfortunately no. Besides, at the moment all of our budget is focused on the war, and we can’t spare a penny for other aspects, let alone forming a whole new agency for corruption. Things should of course ease down when the victory is ours.”

Liqner: “After the conflict is over, we can continue providing Pleike LLC’s security services to your country as much as you need, until your government gets their things done.”

Wîpîyamâhtâw: “I really appreciate that. Pleike security has been the lifeline of the law enforcement in Tipiskawin. Without them, we would be in complete anarchy.”

Liqner: “What other subjects do we have?”

Wîpîyamâhtâw: “The state of our infrastructure. As you could see, Tipiskawin is doing well thanks to Pleike, but the rest of the country is far behind. Some of our settlements aren’t even connected by roads! Without proper funds, it would take a thousand years before we could establish a proper road network for the people.”

Liqner: “I’m sure that you will get enough funds from the natural gas and helium that you have found in your soil.”

Wîpîyamâhtâw: “That’s what we hope, as long as foreigners won’t invade all of our gas-rich regions.”

Telzin: “Perhaps you should push forward the National Gas & Helium Sovereignty Act forward after the conflict is over? That way, you could declare all of your natural gas reserves as owned by the state. Of course, the agreement our countries have does overrule it a little bit, as we should be guaranteed to have our part of your industries. The NGHSA nevertheless would prevent other foreign powers from touching your gas reserves.”

Wîpîyamâhtâw: “NGHSA indeed is very tempting. However, I bet that many in the tribal council oppose the idea of ANY foreign nation having hold of any of our industries. What portion of the potential gas industry would you eventually want? I would recommend a solid 10%, which would definitely be small enough for the tribal council to accept, but big enough for your nation to profit out of it.”

Liqner: “We were thinking of a slightly bigger percentage. We could find our standing in 20%. Afterall, we are the very reason your nation exists, and we have put a lot of money in you.”

Wîpîyamâhtâw: “I’ll see what I can do. It for sure is a tough piece to bite in the council, but I hope for the best.”

Liqner: “Likewise.”

—---------------------

The conversation was interrupted by one of the soldiers who guarded the premises of the Grand Chief’s home. It was Hi’lekhwa, the commander of the Grand Chief’s bodyguards.

—---------------------

Hi’lekhwa: “Mr. Grand Chief, I apologize for disturbing you and your guests, but we have something very important to talk about in private.”

Wîpîyamâhtâw: ”Pardon.”

—---------------------
Wîpîyamâhtâw stood up and walked out of the office. Telzin could see the serious face of the soldier. This had to be something urgent. Silence fell in the room. Feeling slightly uneasy about what caused the soldiers to bring the Grand chief outside the room, Liqner downed his glass of whisky. He knew that this had to be something very serious. Telzin could see Liqner tapping his legs rapidly. What could have happened? Was there an imminent threat to our safety?

Soon the answers would be revealed as Wîpîyamâhtâw opened the door. His movements were calm, but his not-so-happy facial expression told more than a thousand words.

—---------------------

Wîpîyamâhtâw: “I apologize for the sudden break. Several planes, presumably belonging to Astana-Anders, entered our airspace. They struck one of our major bases near the former border. Two planes were shut down.”

—---------------------

Liqner: “Wait, what?”

Liqner: “Astanai planes? Does that mean that INCOM is now fully intervening?”

Wîpîyamâhtâw: “Anterian intelligence has reported that 20,000 Astanai and as many Novoroyskan forces are coming to the oppressor’s help.”

Telzin: “Are you absolutely certain these are not fake news?”

Liqner: “This is unforgivable.”

Wîpîyamâhtâw: “No, all of this is indeed real. It’s very likely we have to end our meeting short, for your own safety. INCOM planes could start bombarding the city any moment.”

—---------------------

The room fell into an eerie silence. Liqner turned his body towards Telzin, and gave his son a death stare.

—---------------------

Liqner: “Telzin, give me the phone.”

Telzin: “For what?”

Liqner: “I need to have a chat with PEIF HQ. If INCOM intervenes, we intervene.”

Telzin: “This will not turn out well. There will be no winners in this war.”

Liqner: “They leave no other choice.”

Telzin reluctantly gave the phone to Liqner. The classic tactic of the Kuzians has emerged again. Escalate until the enemy has no space to escalate further. The wheel of destruction continues spinning endlessly, until there is no one left to give it power. The Midsummer is coming.

Vianden.

A warm summer breeze flows in between the alleyways and plazas of the multistorey buildings. People, now wearing their summer clothing walk and chat while the children run and play in the surrounding parks to, they're hearts content. An alarm sounds, it's aggravating beeping seemingly getting louder and louder. With a near perfect imitation of a corpse, a man tosses and turns in his old squeaky queen bed doing his best to filter out his alarm. The urge for some peace and quiet drives his arm up, and down slamming the large silence button on the clock. The room goes completely quiet, the only white noise being the warm breeze, and the muffed voices and conversations from outside. With the ever-building motivation to simply do something, rather than rot away to his heart’s desire, the man gets up. Bones crack, joints ach, followed by an array of exhausted grunt as the man stumbles towards the bathroom.

Now being bathed and clean, the man slides into his most used clothes, a simple shirt followed by an unzipped jumper, and finally some long cargo pants. The man opens the old yet pretty wooden door into the building’s hallway, the day is instantly ruined after a quick glance at the elevator which has a big, unmissable out of order note. Angerly grunting and mumbling swears he slowly makes his way down the metal spiral staircase and eventually outside the building. The man is met with a comfortable summer sun and breeze, its lovely against the skin, almost enchanting in a way. In a matter of minutes, the man finds himself in the heart and centre of Vianden. Expensive restaurants, museums, tourist shops, more tourist shops, yet another tourist shop, a Gertbland gazette collector shop.... another tourist shop. Rolling his eyes the man reaches for his pocket for his phone, hoping to see the news and weather, just to be met with a zero-battery symbol. On the brink of insanity, a distance shouting catches his attention. Something on the lines of "newspaper"... Newspaper! quicker than he's ran in years in a matter of seconds the man’s eyes meet with a newspaper market stall. Yanking out a crisp and crinkled single Solez dollar note.

Now, newspaper in hand and sitting down on a local bench. The man let's out a sigh of relief. This short moment of calmness is quickly followed by a sudden gust of wind throwing the paper into the sky and away. The man jumps on his feet and gives chase to the run-away paper. through crowds, over small bridges, in and out of alleyways, the chase in intense. The man grows closer the flying paper, and closer, the breeze drops giving him a moment of opportunity. He gracefully leaps into the air, snatching the newspaper. A smile one could only describe as pure joy and accomplishment fills the man’s face, despite the odds of the universe he did it! This moment is short live as soon as he lands... right into a meter wide cannel.
With the sun setting, the once warm breeze switching to an icy frost. The man sits alone on the same bench as before, all that effort to save his lost newspaper just for him to land in water. As he stands up to leave and head back home, a lost paper carried by a soft wind dances around the floor. The man snatches it, sits down, and reads as the amber sun sinks bellow the horizon...

The man then angerly grunts and chucks the newspaper into the bin, nothing but some drama in Iskalot and Askelewi...

Pineapple Free Press

Following the shocking water reserve contamination, and the emergence of the sickness now being dubbed as the “Golden Suffering” in Electrica. Cabinet Secretary Gyasviel of the Edokyuuria Government had made a statement in response this early morning.

The Edokyuuria Government had raised Travel Advisory Levels for Electrica to Level 4. They urged U.K.S. citizens to evacuate from Electrica. The United Kingdom States will offer water supply aid to Electrican Federation. They will also offer additional bottled water supply for Electrican airports and send researchers to aid the Federation in studying in this strange water contamination.

The Public Health Security had also issued a temporary import ban on Electrican product that contains water or requires water in the process of it being produced. Additionally, due to the current known nature of the contamination, arrivals who had been in Electrica within one week are required to be quarantined for 3 days. The PHS is also asking the Electrica Health department for details regarding the composition of the contaminated water.

On the other hand, economic experts are now worrying this would cause a long-due recession that may finally hit Electrica and eventually affect the global economic ecosystem.