The Glorious Empire of Scogovina is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Supreme Imperator with an iron fist, and remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, state-planned economy, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 7.59 billion Scogovinans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kronus. The average income tax rate is 69.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Scogovinan economy, worth 534 trillion Krakovniis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 70,427 Krakovniis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Prankster scientists legally change their names to silly pseudonyms before major discoveries, postcards from Scogovinan driving test centres are popular souvenirs, the army consists of only generals and grunts, and legitimate job descriptions now include "smiling and waving". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Scogovina's national animal is the Sloth bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Imperatorius.

Scogovina is ranked 268,417^th in the world and 4,862^nd in the South Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -8.34 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.