The Hellish landscape of HELLLLL is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Bootleg Satan with an iron fist, and renowned for its closed borders, unlimited-speed roads, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 8.985 billion HELLLLLians enjoy great individual freedoms in everything except elections, which, where they exist at all, are populist shams for a dictatorship government that has no intention of ever giving up power.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Healthcare and Industry also on the agenda, while Education and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dissapointment. The average income tax rate is 19.1%.

The frighteningly efficient HELLLLLian economy, worth a remarkable 1,020 trillion Golds a year, is led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Soda Sales, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 113,623 Golds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.3 times as much as the poorest.

Jury duty means front row seats to a spectacular show, turnstile jumpers grow up to be tax cheats, surfers ride tsunamis of record height and toxicity, and complaining about Christmas music in October is a ho-ho-horrendous crime. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. HELLLLL's national animal is the Bat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Satanism.

HELLLLL is ranked 283,533^rd in the world and 1,353^rd in Europe for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -13.05 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.