The Socialist Federal Republic of Ashenov is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Emiljana Halilović with a fair hand, and renowned for its daily referendums, complete lack of prisons, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 18.199 billion Ashenovians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Healthcare, Environment, and Welfare are also considered important, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Belgrade. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Ashenovian economy, worth a remarkable 5,503 trillion Ashenovian Rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 302,393 Ashenovian Rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The military has gone fission for more funding, producers insist that movie stars wear crash helmets in every scene, it's often raining men (hallelujah) in Belgrade, and it takes a village to catch a criminal. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ashenov's national animal is the Brown Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Ashenov is ranked 292,549^th in the world and 36^th in USSD for Most Primitive, scoring -976.08 on the Scary Big Number Scale.