The Republic of Coisconkhamgrep is a colossal, safe nation, notable for its museums and concert halls, daily referendums, and ban on automobiles. The compassionate, devout population of 7.541 billion Coisconkhamgrepians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Coisconkhamgrepia. The average income tax rate is 82.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Coisconkhamgrepian economy, worth 862 trillion Smilęs a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 114,387 Smilęs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Any citizen who cries is immediately assigned a psychiatrist, fireworks and other big bangs are forbidden during the newest public holiday, the government is deliberately installing bloatware onto computers, and lovesick people are told 'it's not them, it's you'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Coisconkhamgrep's national animal is the giraffe, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Coisconkhamgrep is ranked 273,273^rd in the world and 3,817^th in the Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -264.13 on the Scary Big Number Scale.