The Confederacy of Colove is a tiny, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its compulsory military service, state-planned economy, and restrictive gun laws. The cynical, devout population of 18 million Coloveans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Law & Order, and Welfare. The average income tax rate is 77.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The basket case Colovean economy, worth 174 billion Colove Dolarups a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with major contributions from Retail, Cheese Exports, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 9,714 Colove Dolarups, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky, deceased politicians' MyFace profiles are unanimously pro-incumbent, unshaven men are viewed with suspicion in courts of law, and traveller camps regularly block five-lane superhighways. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Colove's national animal is the giraffe, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Colove is ranked 70,687^th in the world and 130^th in 10000 Islands for Most Primitive, scoring 37.82 on the Scary Big Number Scale.