The Alkhemycal Spires of Dust Princes is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Archdeacon Mirrorgorge with an iron fist, and notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 4.338 billion Gremlins are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Staltaar. The average income tax rate is 79.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Dust Princesian economy, worth 912 trillion Shards a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Information Technology. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 210,365 Shards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

The public health bureaucracy is wrapped in miles of red tape, every workday begins with group therapy, throwing garbage out of your house's front window makes it legally someone else's problem, and chalkboards are replaced with billboards in the classroom. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Dust Princes's national animal is the Amethyst Condor, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Stormlords Skypaths.

Dust Princes is ranked 22,314^th in the world and 4^th in Valhalla for Lowest Crime Rates, with 87.99 law-abiding acts per hour.