The Satanic Republic of Estonian Satanists is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Xrix Satanas Max with an iron fist, and remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, compulsory military service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 8.91 billion Estonian Satanists are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Environment, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pärnu. The average income tax rate is 67.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Estonian Satanist economy, worth 900 trillion EEKS a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 101,107 EEKS, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The consent form for routine blood pressure measurement has been nominated for the 'Novel Of The Year' award, explicit slash fiction is repackaged for kindergarten kids as stories about friends cuddling friends, frustrated teenage boys are told that if they like it then they should have put a ring on it, and water fights now end with thousands dead. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Estonian Satanists's national animal is the Snake, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Estonian Satanists is ranked 284,342^nd in the world and 3^rd in New Estonia Anti Communist Bloc for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -12.25 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.