The Empire of Eternal Flames is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Kaiser Otukugo I with an iron fist, and renowned for its parental licensing program, public floggings, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 5.689 billion Flamesians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sunrise City. The average income tax rate is 85.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Flamesian economy, worth 920 trillion Marks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 161,882 Marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

College athletes are arrested for selling lemonade, bands of paramedics walk the streets looking for suspicious medical activity, video evidence of cruel animal experiments tends to be of poor quality, and weight loss clubs that guarantee losing a stone a month are talking about misplacing rocks. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eternal Flames's national animal is the Falcon, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Banned.

Eternal Flames is ranked 283,705^th in the world and 3,976^th in the Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -410.5 on the Scary Big Number Scale.