The Democratic Republic of Eyernawk is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Eyernuwi with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, state-planned economy, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The compassionate, cheerful population of 9.651 billion Eyernawkians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nawk Eyer. The average income tax rate is 27.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Eyernawkian economy, worth a remarkable 3,003 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 311,231 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Garishly-decorated government buildings are being hailed as the height of 'religious nouveau', preschools put children down for naps with milk, cookies, and a gruesome story of vengeance, it is not politically correct to suspect that a serially convicted burglar might steal again, and refugees from other nations are flocking to Eyernawk's border. Crime is totally unknown. Eyernawk's national animal is the swan, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Nawkeyen.

Eyernawk is ranked 292,629^th in the world and 4,183^rd in the Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -1028.3 on the Scary Big Number Scale.