The Lєԍᴀʟ Assocıᴀтєs of Hassel Lynch and Butcher is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by The Lord High Chancellor with an even hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, irreverence towards religion, and absence of drug laws. The hard-working population of 9.625 billion Lawyers enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The relatively small, liberal government prioritizes Education, although Welfare, Healthcare, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Office. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 13.1%.

The thriving Lawful* economy, worth 732 trillion Fees a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Cheese Exports, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 76,131 Fees, with the richest citizens earning 6.6 times as much as the poorest.

Dancing with your first cousin is a misdemeanor, rumor has it that The Lord High Chancellor has won three lotteries in a row, a Zombie Research Institute Tourist Association survey has rated Hassel Lynch and Butcher #1 for number twos, and picnickers are lucky if a few wasps are the only animals that trouble them. Crime is almost non-existent. Hassel Lynch and Butcher's national animal is the Plaintiff, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Law.

Hassel Lynch and Butcher is ranked 52,836^th in the world and 2^nd in Zombie Research Institute for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 4,478.41 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.