The Environmental Republic of Heydonia is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Sam Bernie with an iron fist, and remarkable for its public floggings, irreverence towards religion, and suspicion of poets. The cynical population of 1.771 billion Heydonians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Berniegrad. The average income tax rate is 86.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Heydonian economy, worth 182 trillion Grents a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 103,237 Grents, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Lovesick people are told 'it's not them, it's you', sex education has become an intricate maze of stick figures and complex metaphors, diaper sales are up, and politicians that report exaggerated crowd sizes for their speeches are dismissed for being delusional. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Heydonia's national animal is the Owl, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Environmentalism.

Heydonia is ranked 254,179^th in the world and 9,707^th in Lazarus for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -7.08 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.