The Royal Riham of Kaku is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by King Kaif Mi'lar with an even hand, and renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants, infamous sell-swords, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, devout population of 12.398 billion Kakuans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Administration are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kralovna. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Kakuan economy, worth a remarkable 2,470 trillion Ruhs a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 199,284 Ruhs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Organ donation is compulsory, foreign heads of state have taken out restraining orders against Kakuan ambassadors, vegetables are crisper thanks to CRISPR, and the new 'Things We Stole From Other Countries' exhibition at the National Museum of Antiquities is a hit. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kaku's national animal is the Phoenix, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Prosvetitism.

Kaku is ranked 288,499^th in the world and 33^rd in USSD for Most Primitive, scoring -576.2 on the Scary Big Number Scale.