The Kingdom of Motasialand is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by The Grand Turtle Killer with an iron fist, and remarkable for its closed borders, avowedly heterosexual populace, and fear of technology. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 8.652 billion Motasialandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 96.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Motasialandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,612 trillion dollars a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 186,322 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Arguments about toilet seats being left up or down get surprisingly heated, criminals lock themselves in their mums' basements to avoid prison, candlelit dinners are less romantic with a flickering LED, and foreigners write "made in Motasialand" on shoddy merchandise in hope of receiving a buy-out. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Motasialand's national animal is the turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Motasialand is ranked 196,189^th in the world and 2,840^th in the Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -79.79 on the Scary Big Number Scale.