The Stone Age Island of No Bogarts is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, frequent executions, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 14.973 billion No Bogartsians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 40.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The thriving No Bogartsian economy, worth 927 trillion seeds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration, Retail, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 61,920 seeds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Scientific journals publish third-graders' school essays, trails to natural wonders are littered with trash from reality film crews, weathermen are being arrested for attempting to read the future, and Calvinball players are lost for days as they wander the vast halls of their new academies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. No Bogarts's national animal is the mule, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

No Bogarts is ranked 146,655^th in the world and 5^th in Weed for Most Patriotic, with 9.52 flags saluted per person per day.