The Free Land of Opischiwapopi is a gargantuan, efficient nation, notable for its smutty television, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 16.874 billion Opischiwapopians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of City 17. The average income tax rate is 82.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Opischiwapopian economy, worth a remarkable 1,547 trillion Acorns a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 91,735 Acorns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It is said that an Opischiwapopian woman's work is never done, hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have, Leader has been nicknamed 'Robomop', and there's a lot of smoke from the nation's "green economy". Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Opischiwapopi's national animal is the Squirrel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Opischiwapopi is ranked 262,813^th in the world and 3,680^th in the Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -201.33 on the Scary Big Number Scale.