The Kingdom of Pole Island is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Chuck Norris with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, anti-smoking policies, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cheerful population of 17.453 billion Pole Islandians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pole Island City. The average income tax rate is 86.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Pole Islandian economy, worth a remarkable 2,236 trillion Pole Islandian Goldcoins a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 128,144 Pole Islandian Goldcoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Teenagers claim that morning paper rounds are performance art, unpackaged foodstuffs rot on store shelves, a faint smell of body odour can be detected at several miles' distance from the National Science Park, and athletic teenagers are among the wealthiest members of society. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pole Island's national animal is the Human, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Deus Vult.

Pole Island is ranked 279,357^th in the world and 3,909^th in the Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -329.89 on the Scary Big Number Scale.