The United Pineslavic Peoples of Republic of Pine is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Iva Aruväli with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, hatred of cheese, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 9.371 billion Piners enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Männilinn. The average income tax rate is 77.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Pineslavic economy, worth 812 trillion Trade Tokens a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 86,702 Trade Tokens, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Fake designer clothes are shredded and burnt while many in the world don't have a shirt on their back, the poor are forced into bankruptcy by their energy bills, drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government, and the question "please would you...?" is usually laden with passive aggression. Crime is totally unknown. Republic of Pine's national animal is the Alpine Ibex, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Piner-Orthodox.

Republic of Pine is ranked 11,887^th in the world and 1^st in The Democratika for Most Primitive, scoring 91.33 on the Scary Big Number Scale.