The Commonwealth of Schneeburg is a colossal, genial nation, remarkable for its daily referendums, soft-spoken computers, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 9.737 billion Schneeburgers enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lorbeerstadt. The average income tax rate is 96.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Schneeburgisch economy, worth a remarkable 1,572 trillion marks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 161,449 marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Every spring railroad foundations erode to reveal human remains, pulling weeds is seen as a threat to national security, Leader's used car is held together by bumper stickers that support the opposition, and traumatised refugees have a full bedpan shoved into their hands along with their immigration papers. Crime is totally unknown. Schneeburg's national animal is the bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Schneeburg is ranked 285,943^rd in the world and 31^st in USSD for Most Primitive, scoring -455.11 on the Scary Big Number Scale.