The Syndicalist Republic of Stoichia is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Josefine Brodersen with a fair hand, and notable for its punitive income tax rates, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 16.133 billion Stoichians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stalberg. The average income tax rate is 89.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Stoichian economy, worth a remarkable 1,745 trillion Stoches a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 108,199 Stoches, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping, the parliament building has installed a revolving door, an aboriginal talking stick is used for leaders' debates at election time, and the citizenship exam requires years of study to actually pass. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Stoichia's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Stoichia is ranked 276,001^st in the world and 10,341^st in Lazarus for Most Primitive, scoring -289.47 on the Scary Big Number Scale.