The Glorious Book Smart Farts of The Finntopian Empire is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Lord Wolfgang Storm Heisenberg with an even hand, and renowned for its smutty television, soft-spoken computers, and otherworldly petting zoo. The compassionate, hard-working, cheerful population of 8.431 billion Finntopians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The medium-sized, corrupt, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Heisenburg. The average income tax rate is 73.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Finntopian economy, worth a remarkable 2,263 trillion Labour Vouchers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Information Technology, Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 268,456 Labour Vouchers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

From the highest mountain to the deepest cave - one can always count on finding a good cell signal in The Finntopian Empire, morale within the seismologist community has hit rock bottom, it is illegal for police officers to carry out searches due to strict privacy laws, and money can't buy love but mercy is entirely negotiable. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. The Finntopian Empire's national animal is the Penguin, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Robe-ism.

The Finntopian Empire is ranked 5,250^th in the world and 1^st in The Finntopian Region of DOOM for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 14,832.07 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.