The Community of The Watermellon Patch is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Mr Green Jeans with a fair hand, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 3.658 billion Watermellon Patchians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Watermellon Rhine. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 10.4%.

The powerhouse Watermellon Patchian economy, worth 278 trillion Watermellon Seeds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 76,085 Watermellon Seeds, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 214,774 per year while the poor average 21,576, a ratio of 10.0 to 1.

An internet search for the word "bland" produces pictures of Mr Green Jeans, the government extracts trade concessions from poor nations in exchange for humanitarian aid, Mr Green Jeans is frequently seen begging critics to stop insulting the government, and elevator music has been replaced by thrash metal played at maximum volume. Crime is relatively low. The Watermellon Patch's national animal is the Alabama Jumping Worm, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Watermellon Patch is ranked 86,239^th in the world and 9^th in Nasicournia for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 2,413.13 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.