The United Democratic Provinces of Turtleonia is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by The Cardinal Magistrate with an even hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, infamous sell-swords, and conspicuous electricity pylons. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 5.419 billion Turtleonians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order, Administration, and Industry are also considered important, while International Aid and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Turtalli. The average income tax rate is 92.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Turtleonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,188 trillion Marks a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 219,263 Marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Arms Manufacturing facilities are being turned into Turtle habitats, stranded mountaineers can watch livestreamed footage of their rescues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's Mark reserves, and hell is not always other people. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Turtleonia's national animal is the Turtle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Morbius.

Turtleonia is ranked 48,648^th in the world and 18^th in Civiles Conservare for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 4,280.36 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.