The United States of Tyr3d3lphia is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Naa2id with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, aversion to nipples, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate population of 5.258 billion Tyr3d3lphians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Healthcare, and Education. The average income tax rate is 85.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tyr3d3lphian economy, worth 483 trillion dollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 92,012 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Skateparks can be found in every city, eerie glow-in-the-dark cornfields give farmlands an uncanny appearance, school uniforms are compulsory, and elected officials who disagree with Naa2id have a lot of accidents. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tyr3d3lphia's national animal is the Pitbull, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Dizan.

Tyr3d3lphia is ranked 241,764^th in the world and 6^th in Glass Gallows for Most Primitive, scoring -129.34 on the Scary Big Number Scale.