The Protectorate of Windswept Niue is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Toke Talagi with an iron fist, and remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, frequent executions, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 18.053 billion Niueans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alofi. The average income tax rate is 97.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Windswept Niuean economy, worth a remarkable 5,474 trillion New Zealand Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Retail, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Soda Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 303,273 New Zealand Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Officials pull all-nighters to check immigrants for potential links to terrorists, to 'cut off family ties' is no longer just a phrase, press conferences always end with standing ovations and rapturous applause, and unwary hikers climbing the bluffs of Mount Alofi make great practice for foreign snipers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Windswept Niue's national animal is the Niue Night Heron, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Windswept Niue is ranked 169,893^rd in the world and 73^rd in South Pacific for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 274.05 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.