The Eternal Republic of Xirnium is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by the High Court of Parliament with an even hand, and remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, public floggings, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 36.077 billion Xirniumites are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The tiny, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Education and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Närväryn the Beautiful. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Xirniumite economy, worth an astonishing 13,353 trillion florins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an amazing 370,136 florins, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,042,029 per year while the poor average 9,452, a ratio of 321 to 1.

The silencing of dissent speaks volumes about the quality of Xirniumite democracy, environmentalists are advocating slash-and-burn in the nation's forests, the only way to escape lengthy prison terms is in a body bag, and only native-born Xirniumites who have never left the nation are permitted to run for office. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Xirnium's national animal is the common barn owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is a chthonic goddess religion.

Xirnium is ranked 287,247^th in the world and 11,140^th in Lazarus for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -48.06 on the Clooney Contribution Index.