The Freshest People's Republic of The Swaggerlands is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Pépé Stroganof with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, museums and concert halls, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate population of 5.24 billion Swaggerlanders are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fort Divorce. The average income tax rate is 97.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Swag economy, worth 735 trillion donks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 140,347 donks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Excited shovel-bearing geeks wander the countryside, goldfish bowls are three metres in diameter, royalist is the most offensive slur in the Swag language, and small children are learning a lot of new words from a teacher with Tourette Syndrome. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Swaggerlands's national animal is the Arctic monkey, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Swaggerlands is ranked 3,782^nd in the world and 19^th in Democratic Socialist Assembly for Most Beautiful Environments, with 2,708.3 pounds of wildlife per square mile.