The Carrisonic empire of Bathelonat is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Holy Emperor Mardel Lonation I with an iron fist, and notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, public floggings, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.228 billion Bathelonatians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Administration are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cathair as lonat. The average income tax rate is 95.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Bathelonatian economy, worth 764 trillion Lonates a year, is mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 180,840 Lonates, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Talkative students are escorted from schools in second-hand prison buses, Holy Emperor Mardel Lonation I's relatives have been married into the royal families of foreign nations against their will, citizens often ask "what has information technology ever done for us?", and owning a really cute pet is grounds for immediate investigation. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bathelonat's national animal is the Izzy, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Carrisonism.

Bathelonat is ranked 17,784^th in the world and 86^th in Conch Kingdom for Safest, scoring 115.1 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.