The United States of Caribbland is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by President Stephen Harper with an even hand, and remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, pith helmet sales, and national health service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 4.044 billion Caribblandians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Caribbland City. The average income tax rate is 30.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Caribblandian economy, worth 953 trillion Caribblandian Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Gambling. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 235,876 Caribblandian Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.9 times as much as the poorest.

President Stephen Harper sports gold-plated grillz to promote the government's hard money policy, Caribblandian soldiers are assured their new ray-guns will finally power up after the next round of ominous chanting, the nation leads United Kingdom in per capita stalking, and unemployed political consultants and advertisers spend every election night weeping for the good old days. Crime, especially youth-related, is a serious problem. Caribbland's national animal is the Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Caribbland is ranked 284,037^th in the world and 395^th in United Kingdom for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -16.43 on the Clooney Contribution Index.