The Holy Empire of Turdmuria is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by God Queen Natalie Portman VI with an iron fist, and notable for its ritual sacrifices, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 3.25 billion Turdmurians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Education, and Healthcare also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Boulevard Saint Richey. The average income tax rate is 67.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Turdmurian economy, worth 431 trillion Lion Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 132,782 Lion Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Dog breeding has been banned in accordance with recent animal experimentation laws, tipsy fans frequently invite themselves to the board meetings of sports clubs, Turdmurian scientists are mixing chewing tobacco with bacon flavouring in an attempt to craft the perfect male snack, and there is something rotten in the state of Turdmuria. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Turdmuria's national animal is the Three headed lion bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Cyborg Dragon Space Christianity.

Turdmuria is ranked 38,799^th in the world and 2,471^st in Balder for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 5,333.63 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.