The Celestial Glory of Astoreus is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Astoreus Kingsley with an even hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, smutty television, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate population of 1.804 billion Astorians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ebessa. The average income tax rate is 72.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Astorian economy, worth 165 trillion astroes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 91,491 astroes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Private law firms are unheard of, one can walk from one side of Ebessa to the other without setting foot on Astorian soil, children spend all morning taking out a comma and all afternoon putting it back in again, and Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Astoreus's national animal is the pegasus, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Celestial Order.

Astoreus is ranked 266,558^th in the world and 378^th in Astoria for Most Primitive, scoring -221.91 on the Scary Big Number Scale.