The Empire of Onder Kelkia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Hair Broom with an even hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, complete absence of social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 17.261 billion Onder Kelkians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Healthcare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Soxan. The average income tax rate is 73.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Onder Kelkian economy, worth a remarkable 1,954 trillion Kroner a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Book Publishing, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 113,252 Kroner, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It is still not known if the commander in chief outranks the supreme commander, people say that cubists are rubbish because they can't draw faces, banks now use correct pronouns when evicting people from their houses, and teen parties are often ruined by wet blanket chaperones. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Onder Kelkia's national animal is the Mute Swan, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Onder Kelkia is ranked 244,982^nd in the world and 8,666^th in Balder for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 46.16 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.