The Most Serene Republic of Tsamiras is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Chancellor Mason Neleus with an even hand, and renowned for its daily referendums, otherworldly petting zoo, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 5.477 billion Tsamirians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sparrow City. The average income tax rate is 86.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tsamirian economy, worth 660 trillion Gold Coins a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 120,559 Gold Coins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

School history books often refer to Chancellor Mason Neleus as "that imperialist pig dog", the military is slashing spending on conventional arms and diverting it to spending on prosthetic arms, male politicians lose their jobs for staring too long at their female counterparts, and the tenet of free speech is held dear. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tsamiras's national animal is the Sparrow, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Tsamiras is ranked 266,149^th in the world and 9,410^th in Osiris for Most Primitive, scoring -218.62 on the Scary Big Number Scale.