The Dragon Kingdom of Vaal Hakia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by King Cristian with an iron fist, and notable for its ritual sacrifices, flagrant waste-dumping, and digital currency. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 12.295 billion Dacians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Education, Healthcare, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Social Policy and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sarmi'Sege'Tuza'. The average income tax rate is 95.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Vaal Hakian economy, worth a remarkable 3,551 trillion Gold Koson Coins a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 288,882 Gold Koson Coins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

The nation is committed to nuclear rearmament, truancy officers have a hard time catching children trained in advanced camouflage skills, King Cristian often plays real life games of Tower Defense against hordes of angry villagers, and military doctrine says not to open fire until you see the "beady little eyes" of Johnny Foreigner. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Vaal Hakia's national animal is the Dragon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Zamolxianism.

Vaal Hakia is ranked 281,843^rd in the world and 10,602^nd in Lazarus for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 25.33 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.