The Sovereign University of Zetaopalatopia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Edwin Elwood with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, keen interest in outer space, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 17.399 billion Zetaopalatopians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The enormous government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Healthcare, and Social Policy also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Administration. The average income tax rate is 99.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Zetaopalatopian economy, worth a remarkable 3,608 trillion Merits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 207,390 Merits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Students memorise knock-knock jokes for their mandatory twice-a-term Comedy Examinations, posing for pictures is an integral part of military training, search and rescue forces now accept cheques and all major credit cards, and strict term limits have been applied to all elected offices. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zetaopalatopia's national animal is the Timber Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Cult of The Hidden Moon.

Zetaopalatopia is ranked 248,923^rd in the world and 9,691^st in Lazarus for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -6.69 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.